A Recipe for Patience

Patience is a gift. When patience is offered and when it is received it is a healing energy that has a positive impact on all involved. We live in a very busy world where punctuality and responsibilities are unconsciously prioritized over patience and empathy. With a fast pace of life, it is hard to manage the overwhelm of the daily grind while pausing to think about how someone else may be feeling, and what they might be experiencing. This is especially true for how our child may be feeling when we are in a rush to get out the door, get them to school, and head into work or wherever we need to go. In other words, it is so incredibly easy to lose our patience towards our children, who have yet to understand time and responsibility, as we are put under the pressures of work, life, and parenting roles.  

I recently told a little girl during a therapy session to be patient with herself as she was learning how to read. It was a moment that brought such clarity as I had never thought about the importance in offering that sentiment for a child to give to themself as they are learning how to build a new skill such as reading; this could include any skill being learned at any given time.

I have began to witness how impatient children are with themselves. It truly breaks my heart to see the expectations they have of themselves, and the underlying frustration that occurs when they do not get things as quickly as they desire. I have sat back to ask myself why this is the case, and I consider the fast pace they are conditioned by, and have become all too familiar with, to be one of the contributors. 

Consider even the impatience parents have with themselves as they learn how to do the hardest job of their lives, parenting. Taking care of not just the day in day out responsibilities of parenthood, but also tending to the emotionality that comes with the territory. 

We live in a fast paced world that is filled with distractions coupled with the cadence perpetuated by doing.

Learning how to Be is an art, that is unlearned from childhood to adulthood; an art that children can help us remember. 

The overwhelm of getting through the laundry list of chores, coupled with the pressure to teach children how to grow into the best versions of themselves possible offers little to no time to be patient and empathetic to the emotional roller coaster that children so easily take you on. My curiosity and interest lies in how patience cultivates presences, something we all long for. 

As we slow down to learn how to Be with the tides of parenting, how does that influence our expectations of our children, and in turn support them to have compassionate expectations of themselves when growing, building, becoming their future selves. 

I believe that  empathy is proportionate to patience and patience is proportionate to empathy. In other words, it is much easier to be patient when we empathize or look to understand our child’s (or another’s) actions, choices, behaviors.

What we ask from our children, we should offer to them. 

Respect, flexibility, thoughtfulness, compassion, empathy, patience, and listening more deeply to their needs as they learn the ropes of their emotions while mastering the skills of life.

All of these sentiments will afford them opportunity to learn how to offer each to others, and themselves. It will also build them to be patience and learn how to be resilient which will benefit them as life throws the inherent challenges that come with being alive.